Safe to be out?

Just a short post tonight. Super tired after a busy weekend, including a bike ride today. So nice to get out and do something active, taking advantage of the lovely weather.

There’s a reason it’s safe for people to come out about being homosexual or bisexual these days (unless they live some place like Russia or Uganda): because other people before them came out first. Visibility makes a difference. There are many people who have held homophobic views in the past, but turned their thinking around when a close relative came out as gay.

Sometimes I fantasise about it being safe to be out about my attraction to pubescent girls. Of course, it’s even more complex now, having acted on that attraction by photographing them in public. But imagine for a moment that I had never offended. Would it be safe to be open about my sexual orientation? I don’t think it would.

It’s certainly possible that public knowledge wouldn’t result in me being bashed to a pulp, even if many people view that as a desirable outcome. But it would still be social suicide. I might still retain a small support network, but other connections would likely dry up pretty damn quick.

So, instead, I live in a sort of limbo state. There are ended relationships with people who know. There are strained relationships with people who know, but who still have a connection with me for various reasons. And there are people who don’t know, but who might find out in future. With the people who know, I feel sad about the burden they’re lumped with. With the people who don’t, I feel a bit like a fraud, aware that they don’t have all the facts with which to make an informed assessment, even though these particular facts might cloud their judgement about the other things they know about me.

The whole situation seems quite volatile. Such is life…

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